Mail Order sign here for 1 Kyle Broflovski
by DeadFuzz
Summary: 20 years of friendship dissapeared in a second. But Kyle strongly regrets not inviting anybody he knows to his wedding after he realises just how big of a mistake he made- but is it to late? Rated T for scenes n language
1. SOLD

A/N: I know I know I should be working on 20 random one shots but I had this dream and I couldn't resist… sorry to all the 20ros fans but tell me if you enjoy… It's a little rough at the moment but anyway… Enjoy

**A/N:** **I know I know I should be working on 20 random one shots but I had this dream and I couldn't resist… sorry to all the 20ros fans but tell me if you enjoy… It's a little rough at the moment but anyway… Enjoy **

"Kyle, I know you're excited but…"

"What are you on about now Stan?" I grin. He always starts his sentences off without telling me what he's talking about. An annoying habit that you embrace over time.

"Well I mean… Uh…"

Man he takes ages. SPIT IT OUT DUDE! I wonder what rose is doing at the moment…

Who's this Rose you ask?

She's the love of my life. My fiancé.

**Gasp! Kyle- how could that be? Last time we checked in you were only eight or nine years old!**

Well I grew up. I am now 23 and 4 months and plan to live longer with my sweet Rose.

We met on college campus.

**STOP! YOU'RE GOING WAY TO FAST! YOU WENT TO COLLEGE? Or were you just high and stumbled there on accident?**

Ha ha very funny. Don't get me wrong I wanted to go to college. But it was way to far away from the people I love. No it was one of those days where you meet the teaches and courses and shit like that. An open day or something.

Now back to Rose- there she was, short funky black hair just past her chin. Enticing green/grey eyes and she always wears cherry lip gloss over her lucious lips which mine have explored on many occasions. Uh… Ignore that last part.

After a few drinks she agreed to go back home with me to South Park. STOP LAUGHING!

She absolutely loved it. She said it was the cutest town ever compared to her apartment in the city.

She visits ever second day. Our love blossomed.

"…Rose"

Her name snaps me back into conscienceness.

"What?" I slur slightly.

"I said its about the wedding. About you and Rose."

He looks nervous and I take a sip of my coke. "Go on" I say slowly. I am very tetchy when it comes to my fiance. Everyonen knew if you insulted her you'd have to answer to me. That's probably why he looks so nervous.

"I meant to tell you ages ago. I never thought you'd get married. I thought you'd get over her. That's why I never told you but…"

My eyes start to blaze. I can feel my temperature rising. Rose is a little…. Eccentric. So people think that they have the right to pay her out. I get very defensive about this kind of shit.

"But I have to tell you. Please don't be mad. She's a bitch and she's dangerous! You have to get out of this marriage right now!"

"And why is that?" I say through gritted teeth.

The only thing stipping me from punching his face in is over twenty years worth of friendship. But unless he has a good excuse for this talk… Lets just say friendship will no longer shield him.

You don't talk like that about someones woman. You just don't.

He looks strangely more confident and his dark blue eyes look straight into mine as he says-

"Shes dangerous Kyle. And scary. She talks about the gruesomest things when your not around. She talks about murder like it's a joke and she goes over disgusting homicide details and shes the worlds biggest bitch ever when your not around!"

He stands up and starts walkingn around the room like he's been holding this in for a while.

"She's mean to everyone! When you aren't there she's a different person! She stole from Wendy, she kicked Kenny in the nuts, She threatened Cartman with a broken bottle and said that she hoped he choked on cheesy poofs and she constantly flirts with me! You've got to believe me Kyle! She's a bad person and she has you trapped!

I stand up. I'm shaking with anger.

"Kyle you're my best friend. I don't want you to get hurt. I love you dude. We all love you. You're just in love and love has blinded you from the truth. Don't do this dude! Please!"

"What I don't understand" I say through gritted teeth "Is why you're lying to me… Do you want me to punch you or something? Is that it? Or is somebody going to jump out and say happy belated april fools day?"

"OPEN YOUR EYES!" He yells "Do you really think I'd risk our friend ship if I wasn't 100 percent positive about what I was talking about?"

"Rose-"

"FORGET ROSE DUDE! SHES BAD NEWS FROM START TO FINISH! FORGET HER DUDE!"

"SHE DIDN'T DO ANY OF THOSE THINGS! Why Stan? Why are you trying to ruin my life?"

"I'm trying to _save_ your life dude! Why can't you see that?"

"SHUT UP! I DON'T KNOW WHY YOUR DOING THIS BUT STOP!"

He grabs my arm as I turn to leave.

"I'm not going to let you go through with this" There are tears in his eyes but I feel no sympathy.

"IT"S NOT UP TO YOU! I HATE YOU! I NEVER WANT TO SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN! YOU BASTARD I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! GET OUT OF MY LIFE!"

And with that- I storm out. Flinging his door open and slamming it shut.

Ignoring Stan's yells for me to come back.

And with that- 20 years of friendship dissapeared in a second.

When I found out everyone in South Park (including my parents) felt the same about Rose- I packed my bags and headed to the city which she lived in.

It's my wedding day.

I have no best man.

The audience are 20 of Rose's friends.

Her parents couldn't make it.

We are just going to exchange vows and sign the wedding certificate.

Of course there is no priest.

I'm a Jew and she's an athiest so we saw no point.

A CD starts playing a recorded 'here comes the bride'

My stomach does a back flip.

It's the smallest wedding I've ever seen but I don't care.

It's only when I'm waiting for Rose to step out of the back door I realise everyone here is a women except for me.

And suddenly there she is.

In the first moment I saw her I forget all about Stan and everything that has happened.

She's wearing a beautiful short cut wedding gown and her lips have been splashed with deep red for a change.

I grin nervously.

She finally, after what seems like a million years, reaches me.

We exchange our vows. The moment I have waited for has finally arrived.

I grab the back of her neck and kiss her deeply. She does the same.

In that moment I can't hear the excited murmurs of the small crowd.

My attention is only on Rose.

She grins as we brak apart and passes me a slip of paper.

"You sign first" Her sweet glossy voice whispers.

I take the pen- this is the last time in my life I will be single. I sign.

Then I feel something pressed hard against my back.

A gun?

"Don't move?" Roses voice turns harsh.

I freeze- expecting the tiny crowd to gasp but instead a girl in a formal blue dress leaps up and raises her hand-

"2000 dollars!" She declares

"5000!" says a girl behind her.

"7000 dollars!"

"I bid 10000!"

They were auctioning.

They were auctioning for _me._

"W-what? Rose- whats going on?"

"Oh Kyle- you've heard of mail order brides right?"

I can't believe my ears. This is some kind of joke.

"Well _honey_" she puts great emphasis on the word honey "I guess you're a mail order husband!"

That explains why there is only girls here.

It also explains why her parents couldn't make it.

It also explains why she smiled when I told her I wasn't inviting anybody I knew.

But I still don't- I still CAN'T believe it.

"20 000 dollars!"

"SOLD!"

And before I can comprehend whats happening, something sharp and hard hit me on the back of the head.

I have one last thought.

_Stan was right. He tried to warn me… I didn't liste-_

I black out.


	2. Talkative captive

A/N: Thankyou so much for the reviews they made me squeal with excitement

**A/N: Thankyou so much for the reviews they made me squeal with excitement! For those of you who don't know- in developing countries they sell wives to people over seas over the internet- hence the name mail order brides. They were traditionally women who placed themselves (or were placed) in catalogues that men selected to marry. They were mainly sold by developing countries (i.e. South East Asia, Russia etc.) In America its considered Violence and Inappropriate against women, and if you do it legally there are a lot of tests you have to pass before a women can be sold i.e. marital background, mental illnesses, and the woman must certify. It takes a long time to do it legally- that's why illegally was a cheaper and faster way to do mail order. It's not that common any more. But most incidents like mail order bride murders have been brushed under the carpet. Anyway hope you enjoy the additional info. Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own South Park or have rights to South Park.**

Oh God my head hurts.

For one glorious second I can't remember what happened.

And then like pages in a picture book it floods back to me one by one.

The fight with Stan.

The wedding.

The cold gun pressed against my back.

Voices yelling out numbers.

I have to get out of here.

I try to move but my hands and legs are tied to tightly.

Wait a second- tied? That's not right.

My eyes fly open. I try to scream but there's a gag in my mouth. I try to gather my surroundings. Its pitch black.

This isn't real. This cant be real. It's a nightmare. It has to be.

I seem to be in a small confided space. It's pitch black and when I try to move my legs they hit something. The fact that I'm feeling slightly sick gives me the feeling that whatever I'm in is in motion. I hear slight noises outside.

_Oh my God! I'm in the trunk of a car!_

A million things run through my mind.

_What if I suffocate?_

_What if I'm claustrophobic?_

_What if there's a crash?_

_What if I'm crushed?_

_Stan tried to warn me. Now I won't ever see him again. I said things I cant take back._

My stomach feels like its sinking. I said a lot of horrible things. He was trying to save me.

He'll come looking. Somebody will come looking. They have to. Once they realise I'm missing they'll try to find me.

Realisation sinks in.

_Nobody will look for me._

They don't know anything's wrong. They all think I ran off with Rose. They all think I don't want them to look for me. They all think I'm happily married and want nothing to do with them ever again.

Well I am married.

_But who am I married to?_

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There must have been a speed bump or something. The last thing I remember was that there was a giant lurch and I hit my head and blacked out.

I don't dare open my eyes. I know I'm not in the car anymore. Instead of an itchy inferior now I'm laying on a cold hard floor. There's no feeling of motion and the silence is deafening.

I look out through my eyelashes.

I seem to be in somebodies bathroom. I see a sparkling white toilet and a sink in the corner but I seem to be alone. I figure its safe to open my eyes.

No I'm definitely alone.

I'm still tied up though. I writhe and squirm trying to loosen the hard ropes but with no prevail. This cant be happening.

The one person I loved in my life… I thought I would live with her forever. I thought I would be happy. I thought we would grow old together. I thought she loved me. But in the end it was all a charade. It was a trick. How could this have happened? I'm meant to know better than this- everyone was trying to warn me- all the evidence was right in front of my eyes. Why couldn't I see it? Why was I so stupid? Why did I choose lust over 20 years worth of friend ship?

I'll tell you why… Because I'm an idiot!

Now I'll never see Stan again... I'll never see Kenny again… I'll never see my parents again… Well the bright side is I'll never see Cartman again… GODDAMIT WHY WONT THESE ROPES COME UNDONE?

Tears of frustration leak down my face. I struggle and writhe some more but it doesn't help. It only makes me tired. God how could I have been so stupid?

"Ah I see you're awake"

The voice makes me flinch. I didn't hear her come in and from my position on the floor I look up.

There's a woman standing there. She looks about her late twenties and is wearing a short pink dress with matching pink heels with curls in her black hair. She's still dressed from the wedding.

She places the laptop she's holding down on the bathroom counter. She kneels down to me so she can look in my eyes. She's too close- she smells like strawberries.

"Yes" she mutters looking me over "Yes you will do fine"

She grabs her laptop and starts to type furiously.

I glare at her.

What was happening? Why did she pay 20000 dollars for me? There's no way this is legal. Well duh! You're tied up of course its not legal!

"Hold still" She says bending down again. She grabs a comb and tries to untangle a few of my knots. She cusses. I smile on the inside- at least I'm causing her _some_ unsatisfaction.

I don't know why she's doing this.

Then she goes over to the sink, where her handbag is sitting, and grabs a camera out of her bag.

She sits me up straight against the cold bathroom wall and takes my gag off. I know better than to talk.

"Right" She says firmly. She then tilts my head down. "Look up with your eyes- not your head" She says.

For some reason I do so.

Click. There's no flash.

She shuffles over to the counter and connects her camera to a cord connected to the laptop.

She types for a while than laughs.

I glare at her.

"I would have been able to buy you a lot cheaper if I did it the legal way" She states- talking like this is an absolutely normal conversation to have with somebody. "But since the risk of getting caught and the fact that its a lot quicker, and most guys aren't willing to sell themselves these days- typical of a man- you have to do everything yourself-But in the end its worth paying the extra pennies. If I sell you again I'll get my money plus extra back. Wow Rose is good. I never believed her when she said that she thought she could actually hook somebody into marrying her. But there you are- she sure showed me"

I know my face is flushed. I can feel it getting hotter. It happens when I get angry. I don't say anything. What on earth would I have to say to somebody who just bought me, tied me up, and is about to sell me again?

"God you don't talk much do you? The last guy I had wouldn't shut up! But then of course- he had been sold about 10 times so I think in the end he went kind of cuckoo. That's what always happens eventually. Of course at first there's only two ways to go-either they're always silent, like you are, or they wont shut up about their rights and blah blah blah. In the end though they give up- they lose their will- they do whatever you ask them to. Probably because they know if you don't comply your just going to keep getting sold over and over again. So in the end they give up. They don't care anymore"

I still don't say anything. I feel sick. I want to punch somebody. I want to scream. I want to get out of here.

"There you are" She says, and places the laptop in front of me.

I can tell just by looking that she's on a black market site. One that you need about 1000 passwords to get into.

"Your doing pretty well for a red nut" She says. At first I don't know what she's talking about, then as my eyes go wide as they scroll over the page I see the picture she had just taken. My eyes are looking up but my head is tilted down so that I look very dark and mysterious. Next to it is a text box. It states-

_Mail Order Husband- For Auction- Comes with unsigned Marriage certificate free of charge._

Then there are two comments.

The first one says

_Hmm I'm interested but I need to know more... Any thing outstanding I need to know? Religious? Rich? Poor? More info please._

_J.M_

The second one reads-

_I don't care about any of those details – I'll buy right here right now- 25 000 enough?_

"See heres how you tell the difference" My captive says "The first person to comment actually wants a husband- she's obviously lonely and desperate and stuff but she wants more information about you. But the second- she doesn't care about the details- as soon as I sell you to her she's going to put you on the internet to sell again"

Suddenly her phone rings.

She leaves the room with her phone in hand.

This may be my only chance.

Although my hands are tied behind my back I push my legs up and bring them under so that they are now at the front.

I then open a new web page to go into my email address. I type it in with my password.

I press sign in.

It comes up with a message.

_The email address or password you have entered is incorrect. Please try again._

Damn! Its really hard to write with your hands tied together.

Its times like this I wish I hadn't made my email address so long.

I try again. Finally success. I feel the adrenaline rushing through me as I click NEW.

Stan's on my automatic contact list so I press his email address.

Then I type- trying not to make to many errors.

_Stan_

_You were right. I need help. I don't know where I am. I'm being sold on the-_

"What are you doing?" She screeches.

SHIT!

She grabs her laptop from off the floor and closes it. Her phone falls out of her hand. For some reason I quickly go to grab it- wrong move.

_CRUNCH._

AHH!! If your hand has never been crushed by a high heel consider yourself lucky.

And then out of no where.

_Whack!_

She kicks me in the nose.

"UGH!" I groan.

She puts the gag on me and tightens it again. Hard. I groan in pain.

"I liked you better when you didn't do anything" She says- and with that- she leaves the room. Taking her phone and laptop with her.

That's it. My last chance to escape and I blew it. I give up.

I let my self slide down the wall. I don't even try to do the impossible and stem the blood. I want to drown in it. I want to drown in the mixture of blood and tears dripping on the floor.

I just blew my last chance to escape.

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"But-"

"No buts Stan. I don't care"

"What if-"

"Face it Stan- he's happily married and the only reason he hasn't talked to you is because he doesn't want to. It doesn't mean anything's wrong."

"he made a big mistake Kenny"

"Yeah- and when he's willing to admit that- I might forgive him. But until then I'm not going anywhere to check up on anyone"

"Its not his fault- you just don't see peoples faults when your in love… You have to forgive him"

"I might forgive him… If he sells himself to a bunch of chicks for my entertainment"

Kenny had no way of knowing- that at that very moment- Kyle had been put up for sale on the internet.


	3. Road trip

Authors Note: Thankyou so so much for comments

Authors Note:** Thankyou so so much for comments!! I love reviews- but I especially love constructive critism so that I can see my mistakes and learn from them- thankyou again!**

**Disclaimer: WAHHHHHHHHHHHH! I'm crying cause I don't own south park…**

Stan leaned back on Kenny's poor excuse for a couch. A million things were running through his mind. Kyle hadn't called since he'd left South Park.

Stan knew that the wedding was on today. He knew where it had been held as well. But he still hadn't gone. Kyle didn't want him there so, so be it. It was now night time and Stan knew that the wedding was well over.

But something was wrong. Stan could feel it. He didn't know how to explain it to the now passed out Kenny on the couch but somehow he knew that something was wrong. He took another sip of his beer and thought for a moment. What could be wrong? Stan had thought that maybe if Kyle was happily married that he would have called him up to gloat. But no. Nothing. Nada. Not a call at all.

"Kenny?" Stan lightly shoved his drunk friend "Kenny wake up"

"whasgoinon?" Kenny slurred. Stan didn't know just how many Vodkas Kenny had had that night but he knew that it had been rather a lot.

First he drank to Kyle's health.

Then he drank to Stan's health.

Then he drank to his own health.

The he drank to 'that bastard admitting we were right'

And so on.

"Kenny- tomorrow I'm going to see Kyle."

"Kyle- that bashtard? Why 'choo wanna do shomethin like that Shtan?"

"Because I think he's in trouble Kenny"

Kenny paused for a second and blinked his bloodshot eyes before saying "You look pretty hot in the dark Shtephanie"

"Kenny I'm Stan!"

"Oh… You look pretty hot in the dark Shta-"

"Ugh! Never mind! I'll talk to you when your sober"

Kenny smiled a lopsided smile and took the beer bottle out of Stan's hand before taking a big slurp. "Never!" He declares, sounding a lot like Jack Sparrow.

"Kenny will you ever grow up?"

"Only when you take your bra off Shtephanie"

Stan just sighed and waited for Kenny to fall back into a drunken slumber. He knew that he himself however, would not be able to get to sleep.

But what he didn't know, was that in a room somewhere very far away, Kyle could not get to sleep either.

After all, its very hard to dream when all hope has faded.

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Kenny awoke to the sound of the world ending.

Or at least that's what a vacuum cleaner sounds like when you have a giant hangover.

He groaned and waited for his obnoxious room mate to switch off the horrible beast.

He didn't have to wait long.

"Stan! I'm gonna murder you" Kenny muttered rubbing his eyes.

"Oh I'm sorry- I thought my name was Stephanie"

Kenny's eyes flicked open and he let his hands slide down his face with a cheeky smirk being revealed.

"Did I really call you that?"

"Yeah- you also asked me to take my bra off" At this Kenny burst out laughing, his voice cracked and dry.

"So anyway Kenny. Whose Stephanie?"

Kenny stopped to think for awhile, his brain always worked slowly in the mornings.

Then it came to him.

"Centre fold of issue 4412" He smirked.

Stan shook his head and smiled. Same old Kenny from start to finish. Kenny flicked his dirty blonde hair out of his startling blue eyes and yawned.

It was funny, even with bloodshot eyes, a 3 day growth and a hangover that reached the moon and back, Kenny still looked like South Park's number one player. Or the more elegant term, South Parks most desired bachelor. Though personally, Kenny preferred the first one better.

"So Stan mah man, what have you got planned for today? I hear that North Parks filled up with some pretty hot chicks this time of year. What do Ya say? Wanna check it out?"

Stan hesitated before answering. He looked like he was holding on to the vacuum cleaner cord for dear life.

"I-I was thinking I'd go see Kyle"

Kenny sighed. He may have been drunk that night but he had still remembered clearly Stan's desperate conversation with Kenny. Well- bits of it anyway.

"Stan I thought we settled this last night? No, no and triple no! He's fine where he is. He doesn't want us and frankly, I don't really want him around neither"

Stan stood up all of a sudden "I don't care- something's wrong Kenny- I just know it- I'm going to check up on him whether your coming or not!"

Kenny closed his eyes. "_Fine_! I'll come with you! But only because I cant stand you going on a long road trip with no company"

"You want to pick up hot hitch-hikers don't you?"

Kenny winked "guilty as charged!"

"How many times do I have to tell you that the only hot hitch-hikers are in movies? The ones in the real world or either transvestites or hobos or mass murderers or rapists"

"How many times do _I_ have to tell _you _to stop bursting my bubble? Besides- you cant exactly rape the willing."

Stan raised his eyebrows "Are you telling me your into the hobo crazy guy type?"

"Whose talking about hobos? I'm talking about the hot hitch hikers!"

Stan sighed. This was going to be a long trip.

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Kyle was waiting.

He was waiting for his captive to come back in. Night had passed and he doubted she was going to let him die in there.

Sure enough the door opened and in she stepped. She looked more casual with jeans and a black t-shirt on and she was carrying a tray.

Carefully she placed it down in front of him. It had a bowl of cereal and a glass of water on it.

She ungagged him and to his surprise also undid the ropes tying his hands together.

But when she was about to close the door something stopped her. That something was Kyle's voice.

"Why are you doing this?" It was rough and hoarse but it was still more than clear what he said.

There was no pity in her eyes when she replied. In fact her voice was so cold she could have been declaring 'shit happens' to somebody who had just lost a loved one.

"Some do it for love. Some do it for money. I do it for the money. But do you want to know the most beautiful part of this scheme? Its untraceable. And since nobody know where you are that's how its going to stay"

And with that she left and closed the door. Leaving Kyle to think that there wasn't really a point in eating or drinking anything. Since there was no hope for him anyway.

Or so he thought.

**Ok please let me know what you think!! I love constructive critism and reviews and feedback love yous!**


	4. Discovering what strikes at the heart

OK… MSN CHATS, homework and myspace evil people that are mean have been distracting me from writing this story… BUT NO MORE

**OK… MSN CHATS, Halloween XD, homework, writers block and myspace evil people that are mean have been distracting me from writing this story… BUT NO MORE!!! I will write… Right now…. Right after this crappy authors note… Here I go… Gotta stop procrastinating… Maybe I'll read that book on how to stop procrastinating…. Step 1- put this book down and do what ever it is your putting off… Oh… Ok then… Here it is…**

**Disclaimer: I do not own south park- can I make it any clearer?**

"Oh come on Stan! That one was hot! She had HUGE FRIGGIN HOOTERS! Why didn't you stop?"

Stan had been driving with Kenny for three hours. If you have ever been on a road trip with the most perverted person in the world you would now know how Stan felt.

"Kenny for the last time I'm not picking up hitch hikers- besides- SHE HAD A GIANT MOUSTACHE!"

"Oh… I-I didn't see that"

"Yeah that's because you were to busy looking at her huge man boobs" Stan said in a cold and bitter voice.

"Whoa dude- what's gotten into you? Ever since we've been on this trip you've been like on permanent PMS or something"

Stan sighed "Sorry" He muttered before smirking and giving Kenny a side glance "You mean like Wendy?"

"Huh?" Kenny asked picking at his fingernails.

"You mean permanent PMS like Wendy has?"

Kenny bursts out laughing. "DUDE! She's scary! I'm so glad you broke it off with her. She's gotta be a bigger bitch than Kyle's mum! How many protest rallies did she do this year?"

"330"

"Dude… Why are you counting?"

They both laugh again but soon as Stan comes to a stop at a small house they both stop.

Stan had only been to Rose's house once before. She had moved out of her apartment and into a house shortly after she had met Kyle. Stan had always wondered how she could afford a house like this- it had to be at least four bedrooms and two bathrooms and she was just in her twenties. Stan had come to the conclusion that Rose had had very rich parents.

How wrong he was.

"Come on Kenny" Stan said getting out of the car and stretching his legs. When Stan reached the front door he turned around to see Kenny all the way at the end of the pathway.

"Come on Kenny- what are you waiting for?"

Then it occurred to Stan why Kenny seemed to be frozen in time. Last time he had seen Rose she had given him a swift kick in the family jewels.

Stan wasn't saying that Kenny didn't deserve it. On the contrary- he was probably the person who deserved it the most in the world. But Rose had done it for no apparent reason.

_As Kyle leaves the room Rose turns to Kenny._

"_So Kenny, are you single?"_

"_And loving it" Kenny winks._

_BANG!_

Poor, poor pervert.

"Come on Kenny- she wont do anything while Kyle's there"

He hesitates for a second and then eventually drags his feet to the front door. "Here we go" Stan mutters and knocks three times. It only takes about ten seconds before somebody answers but to Stan it feels like an eternity.

Both Kenny and Stan's hearts sink when they see the person who had opened the door was Rose not Kyle. Her eyes widen with shock… And horror? And her mouth drops down into a gawk as she takes them in. Obviously she believed that she would never see them again.

"w-what are you doing here?" She basically screeches.

"We just wanted to see Kyle- and to apologise" Those last three words felt like saw dust in Kenny's throat as he intended to do no such thing.

"Well you cant!" She says way to defensively "H-he said he never wanted to see you again… Remember?"

Stan does remember. And the words that Kyle said still stabs at his heart and he does all he can not to cry or to punch something. Kenny soon sees Stan's difficulty to connect words together and comes to the rescue (A/N Ok you should all be getting scared now- you know your screwed when you have to rely on Kenny to save the day).

"Look, Ok we just want to talk. We mean no harm and we wanted to_… Apologise_ for screwing up his wedding"

Rose brings herself to her full height (which compared to Stan isn't very impressive) and says shortly "Well you cant- he's not here at the moment"

"Well when will he be back?" Kenny cuts in before Rose can close the door.

"Please we just want to speak to him- we drove three hours cant we please just talk?"

Rose sighs. Obviously she never considered that it would be _this_ hard to get rid of them. _I mean who knew that they'd care this much for that stupid kid. Who cares… I mean why cant they just give up?_ Rose thinks to herself.

"Look- Kyle doesn't want to speak to you. He doesn't like you anymore- you said some pretty messed up things about me and he just doesn't want to talk to you anymore. So I suggest that you leave before he gets back to avoid a scene"

"But they were all true!" Stan protests.

"Look honey" She says putting a crimson painted nail on his shoulder "If you really love him- let him go- he'll come around in his own time but until then I suggest that you _back off_" Her grip on his shoulder tightens "Now please leave- he'll be back anytime now and I'm really not in the mood for cleaning up any blood at the moment- besides I have a guest over" And with that she closes the door.

Stan just stood there shell shocked. "Dude!" Is all that comes out.

"This is so weird- why does she have a guest on her honey moon morning?"

"I-I don't know"

"Something fishy is going on here"

"Kenny- I don't know how to say this. But I don't think Kyle is coming back"

"To South Park?"

"No- to here"

Kenny gave Stan a questioning look. "Come on" Stan said gesturing to come around the back of the house.

When Kenny followed, Stan stopped at a window before opening it a little.

"Stan! What are you doing? You're going to make us look like peeping toms!"

Stan raised in eyebrow in an 'like you've never done this before' kind of way.

"Quiet Kenny- now we can hear them."

Kenny crouched down next to Stan, where they both looked through the half open blinds into a room that looked way to cutesy for Kyle's liking.

It had all little frilly things every where and there was so much pink it was almost blinding.

On a floral patterned couch there was a lady with long reddish brown hair that flowed down to her waist, she had a thin figure and a pointy face. Soon Rose came into the room with two cups of steaming hot drinks in her hand and set one down on the coffee table in front of the mystery woman. She then sat down herself and took a sip.

"Who was that?"

"Two of Kyle's friends"

The red head nearly spat out her drink.

"W-w-what?"

"Hopefully they don't come back- I convinced them for now that he doesn't want to see them"

"But- what if they come back again?"

"I'll call the police… Don't worry I'll think of something to keep them quiet."

"The blonde was gorgeous- but then again the other one was a bit of a hunk"

Outside Kenny and Stan smirked at each other.

"Rose- you don't know how dangerous this is… If they found out- you'll go to prison! Sooner or later they'll come back and realise that their friend is gone… for good"

Outside of the window Stan and Kenny froze. The ghosts of their smirks slipping away as fast as they came.

"Don't worry Cherrie- soon I'll move again… They wont be able to find me and eventually they'll give up"

"I don't know about that" Cherrie said stirring her hot drink "How much did Rhiarn buy him for any way?"

Stan and Kenny couldn't believe their ears. Surely they weren't talking about Kyle. They couldn't be talking about him like some sort of object that could be sold. That was inhumane. No. They were talking about an object of some kind. _But they had said __**he!**_

"20 Grand" Rose replies taking a sip of her drink.

"And you say that he was Jewish?"

"Yep"

"I would have paid 25 K"

"Why don't you go to Rhiarn's house then? Apparently she's selling Kyle again. Maybe you could buy him"

"You know I might just do that- I mean I couldn't make it to the auction so that's a pretty good idea. I'm seeing her tomorrow anyway"

Stan couldn't take any more. He stood up very slowly and walked zombie like back to his faded Red 1999 Ford Crown Victoria. (which for a little background info he called Vicki)

"Stan?" Kenny asked in a small voice.

"Kenny- go to the nearest store- and get me a gun"

"Stan" Kenny said hesitantly putting a hand on Stan's shoulder "I know what your thinking- but shooting her wont help"

"I'm not planning to do that Kenny"

"…"

"I'm planning to follow that Cherrie chick- she'll lead us to Kyle- and then I'm going to use it to get him back"

It was a while before Kenny responded. But the words he said shed a ray of light on Stan's not-so-perfect day.

"I'm in"

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Kyle watched as the door of his confided prison opened.

"Just so you know- you've been sold again"

And before he could even comprehend what Rhiarn had said- something sharp and hard hit his head and once again- he blacked out.

**Well there you are so sorry bout the late update… Had a touch of writers block but all ok now. Man all those knocks and bonks to the head cant be good for Kyle ay? Hope u like… Please review and feedback to tell me what you think because its your views that keep me writing : )**


	5. are you coming on to me?

**Disclaimer: umm… Fan fiction is for fans… Not owners…**

SHIT! FUCK! CRAP! FUCK AGAIN!

My head hurts. But I guess I should get used to that by now. Still I cannot escape the overpowering pain that throbs near my left temple. It hurts!

I want to swear, I want to lash out at something and I want to scream.

But I cant do those things.

I cant swear or scream because I am gagged.

I cant lash out at anything because my hands are tied.

And do you know what the sad thing is? No matter how much you fidget, the ropes stay as tight as they ever were, and the gag is still fixed tightly inside your mouth. That's why I don't even bother opening my eyes. That's why I don't even bother twisting and turning to try to get the ropes off.

All hope Is lost.

There's a really bad feeling at the back of my head, and it has nothing to do with the fact that I was just knocked out by a baseball bat.

Its guilt.

Its depression.

Its anger.

Its sorrow.

But most of all its regret.

I regret doubting my best friends when they tried to save me. I regret meeting Rose. I regret marrying the bitch. But mostly- I regret the things I said to Stan.

"_IT'S NOT UP TO YOU! I HATE YOU! I NEVER WANT TO SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN! YOU BASTARD I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! GET OUT OF MY LIFE!"_

I don't hate him. I do want to speak to him again. Desperately. More than any body could imagine. He's not a bastard- he never was and never will be. He was just a friend trying to stop an idiot making the worst mistake of his life. I don't hate him. I wish I didn't force him out of my life. I don't hate him.

And now, I'll never see him again. I'll never talk to him again. I'll never hear his voice, hear his laugh, see his face, laugh with him, talk with him or any of that. Ever.

I hate myself for what I said. I hate myself for what I did. And I hate myself for giving up so quickly- but I have no hope anymore. Nobody knows where I am. Hell I don't even know where I am. And as far as I know there are only 3 people who do.

Rose.

The first bitch who bought me.

And now the second bitch who bought me.

I just pray to God that whoever bought me didn't buy me for love or I'm screwed. Well I guess you could say that either way I'm Royally screwed. It's a lose-lose situation. Because eventually somebody _will_ buy me for love not money. And the thought of that is just scary.

But why am I feeling so calm about this? Why am I talking about it like its something that happens everyday?

I'll tell you why- because I'm dreaming. I'm having a nightmare… Or an epiphany or SOMETHING. But this certainly isn't real…. It cant be…. This kinda crap only happens in movies and the occasional book but NEVER in real life… Does it?

I mean at what point did somebody come up with the idea of making somebody fall in love with them and then sell them on the internet- that kinda scam only works in Hollywood… Right?

Besides- Rose would never get away with it if it did happen in real life. She could never pull off a scam like this… Wouldn't somebody see the website? Hear the auction? Wouldn't somebody rat her out? No. She could definitely not get away with it… Its impossible… She could not get away with it… Could she?

Though the one thing I don't get is how because this is a dream, I'm feeling real pain. I must have fallen out of bed…

"This isn't real" I say firmly and out loud- saying things out in the open helps you believe them.

Suddenly I hear a harsh, sharp, booming laugh.

"Oh its real honey" Says a rough booming voice.

My eyes fly open- if I was given one word to try and explain the fat woman standing before me it would be this- butch…

And I mean not just big and Bogan looking… But she really did look like a stereotypical rough and tumble, football loving, tomboyish kind of a woman… Not the kind of woman who would be buying mail order husbands… Maybe a mail order bride… But certainly not a mail order husband…

Oh God I really, really hope she didn't buy me for love.

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Stan pinched the bridge of his nose as he pulled over to the side of the road "Oh man" he muttered, and wound down his window so that the approaching policeman could speak to him.

"Is there a problem officer?" He asked through gritted teeth as the overweight man waddled up to his drivers seat window.

"I smell bacon" Kenny muttered and Stan shot him a warning look.

"Do you know how fast you were going?" the policeman asks typically.

"I dunno… The speed limit?" Stan said coldly. His eyes kept shifting over to the revolver in his glove box. He would never be able to shoot anybody… Would he? No he just wanted to scare Kyle's captive enough to get Kyle to safety.

"Don't you get sharp with me! And yes- you were going the speed limit…"

"Then why the hell did you pull me over?" Stan asked annoyed. Cherrie's BMW was parked in the wal-mart opposite and he was keeping a sharp eye out… He didn't want to lose his trail…

"Tell me sir, do you know where Peacock street is?"

"I don't believe it! A police man pulled us fucking over to ask for directions!" Stan said trying to sound more annoyed than he was anxious. Peacock street was just where he and Kenny had came from because it just so happened to be the street that Rose lived in.

"No sir, actually I pulled you over because we had a complaint about a pair of peeping Toms in the neighbourhood"

Kenny leaned out so that the officer could see his smirking face "I'm sorry officer but Ya got the wrong perps- neither one of us is named Tom"

Stan restrained the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose again and turned back to the officer.

"So? What the hell does that have to do with us?"

"A neighbour gave the description of two boys in their early twenties peeping through next door's window… You two pretty much fit the description"

"And what description would that be?" Stan said keeping his eyes locked on the black BMW.

The officer pulled a notebook out of his breast pocket and read aloud "The first guy had straight black hair and a dark look to his light blue eyes, he was wearing a white jacket with red writing stating SPC on it, and black skinny jeans."

Stan couldn't help getting nervous, he knew he shouldn't have worn his 'South Park Cow's' jacket… He was lucky though that he and Kenny had taken their jackets off a long time before the Police man had pulled him over.

"Well officer as you can see I'm not wearing a jacket- and excuse me for asking but how can I have dark/light blue eyes? That's a double negative"

"And an oxymoron" Kenny pitched in. Putting great emphasis on 'moron'

"Shut up pretty boy- nobody asked you" Snapped the pig "The second guy has messy blonde hair with big blue eyes and an orange hoodie, with the hood down and-" The officer hesitates before continuing "looks like he would be good in bed"

Kenny laughed sharp and short before leaning further out Stan's window. _Oh God!_ Stan thought_- whatever you're about to say Kenny DON'T FUCKING SAY IT!_

"Are you coming on to me officer?" Kenny asked with one eyebrow raised, and Stan couldn't help slapping a hand to his forehead in frustration.

"I'm just reading the description" The officer started to protest, looking as nervous as Stan felt but Kenny cut him off.

"When you said messy blonde hair, didn't you mean _hot _messy blonde hair?

The police man started spluttering and sweating like crazy. He looked really nervous.

"I have to say officer, I don't dub your behaviour appropriate"

So anyway, in the end the police man gave in. He let us go… And I hate to say this, but it was all thanks to Kenny…

Man he is one smart pervert.

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**OMG OMG OMG I AM SO SO SO SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE!! ! FOR THE MEGA LATE UPDATE!!!! SORRY!!! SORRY!!! SORRY!!! SORRY!!! SORRY!!! SORRY!!! SORRY!!! SORRY!!! SORRY!!! SORRY!!! SORRY!!! FORGIVE ME PLEAAAAAAASE!!! BUT this is the time of year (last term of school in AUS) where all the assignments and tests are due in and every things frantic- but im finally done this chapter and I thank you so much if you've been patient but again I am so so sorry but school is a nightmare at the moment- especially when I have six assignments that I had to do and one that was due today- so once again im sorry!!!!**


	6. not such a great time

Disclaimer: Don't own… I would if I could but I can't…

Previously: Oh God I really, really hope she didn't buy me for love.

My captive heaves a large foot closer to me. She really is a large woman.

She slowly waddles her fat legs closer and I feel myself getting more and more fidgety… If there was ever a time I wanted to break free of my ropes, now would be good.

Its really hard to back up into a solid wall. But in situations like this, you find yourself constantly hoping for it to melt behind you.

Her knees crack as she slowly bends down to my level… She smells rank, with a mixture of stale alcohol and tobacco.

I try to scream and grunt in protest as she hastily unbuttons my shirt and also try to kick and push her away- a futile attempt considering she has me tied up and gagged.

_Stop it! stop! WTF DO U THINK UR DOING?!?_

She laughs, loud and harsh and the sound of it makes me sick to my stomach

"Stop squirming kid- I'm not going to hurt ya! Just seein' if…" She trails off and I cant help but feel that the end of the sentence wouldn't have made me feel much better about my situation.

"Ahh yes" She mutters and I feel sick at the thought of what shes about to say next "Nobodies going to buy you in a state like this… you another one of those anorexics? Or the others not feed you?" At this my stomach gave a growl… Could it be any worse timing? "Nobodies going to buy a skinny shit like you"

"Fuck you!" I try to say, but in a gag it sounds more like "AC OO!" I think she got the drift of what I was trying to say though.

She glares at me, daring me to say more, then she heaves herself up and away from me (finally) and leaves the room.

This room is a lot larger than the last one I was in. But also a lot darker. I can hardly make out most of the shapes in the cluttered room which gives me a feeling I'm either in an attic or a basement, but one of the figures looks like a toilet and a giant teddy bear.

Its really weird what I'm feeling at the moment. At first I felt bewildered at the thought of being sold online and that it was some crazy messed up dream ,_surely this isn't real?_ Then once I realised that it very much wasn't a dream I felt kind of depressed _How could this happen? Why is this happening to me? What have I done to deserve this? Why me?_ Then I became angry, remembering the words my mother had always told me from a young age (don't get sad get mad) _How dare they do this to me! They have absolutely no right to do this!_ But now….

Now I feel absolutely empty. I feel nothing. Nada! Zip! Its like all of my emotions have been physically and mentally drained from me. I just don't care anymore… The Earth would still keep turning if I were to disappear…

If I was to be sold to a million people…. Life would still continue… Only I would be effected. Big deal, one life effected…. There's 6 billion more in this world who cares if one little life is destroyed?

Death is just another part of life…. Part of the circle… Nobody would care…

I wouldn't be remembered… In 100 years time nobody would remember my name… I would just be another rotting body underneath soil…. Another meaningless tombstone…

Another empty name….

I haven't done anything to be remembered by. I doubt anybody even knows I'm missing at the moment… no, they all thought I eloped…

Great wedding that turned out to be…

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In the hours that Stan and Kenny had been sitting outside the wal-mart, waiting for Cherie to come out, Stan had given Kenny one hundred dollars to buy food, drinks, and anything else that he thought they would need.

At the time, Stan hadn't really thought it was a good idea giving Kenny all that money, but when Kenny had come back with a whole trolley full of food and toiletries, Stan realised that Kenny was probably the best person to do the shopping for you- after all, he had been forced for years to buy a whole months worth of food out of welfare.

There was something else however, that Stan had asked Kenny to buy. That was a one dollar gadget called 'spy ear' that, when they were children, had bought to listen in to peoples conversations. Though it worked exceptionally well… In fact, it was so good that Stan's grandfather chose to use it instead of his hearing aid!

Stan cussed as he pushed his hand past home brand milk and eggs to try and find the mini gadget.

"God dammit Kenny! Why couldn't you have asked the check out chick to put it in a separate bag???"

Kenny stretched out and yawned in the passenger seat, not bothering asking if Stan needed help. It had been two and a half hours since Cherie had entered wal- mart and there was still no sign of her. "I was to busy chatting her up" he said in a bored tone.

All of a sudden, Kenny sat up straight "Stan! She's coming out now!"

Stan stopped scavenging through the rows of bags and looked up just in time to see Cherie piling the bags of groceries into the boot of her car, and talking to a man who looked in his late twenties at the same time.

He seemed to be really into her, leaning against her car and flashing a wide smile. Stan had to use a lot of self control to restrain himself from yelling out to him he was in danger of being sold on the internet.

"You go through the bags Kenny and I'll follow her" Stan said releasing his cars hand brake and turning the ignition key.

Kenny reluctantly obeyed with a yarn while Stan waited for Cherie to get into her car, not taking her eyes off her for one second.

The man leaning against her car door seemed to be waiting for something and after flashing him a smile Cherie handed him a tiny piece of paper that had numbers written on it.

So the man had successfully gotten her number… He had no idea what kind of danger he was in.

Cherie reversed her four wheel drive and made way for the exit, Stan close on her tail.

"Eureka!" Kenny exclaimed pulling something tiny and blue out of a bag.

"You're spy ear good sir" He said in a mock posh voice.

Stan snatched it out of Kenny's hand, not bothering taking his eyes of the silver four wheel drive, which had stopped at a red light.

Suddenly, just as Kenny and Stan were about to exit the car park, a large figure came out of nowhere and Stan had to screech the brakes to avoid hitting it.

"Holy shit" Kenny exclaimed "Is… Is that C-Cartman?"

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The door of Kyle's hell opened up and a large shadow slowly crept into the door. Rough hands untied his bounds and undid the gag that was attatched to his mouth…

On the floor a clink occurred as a plate was placed before him.

"Eat up" Was all his captive said before heading out the door.

Kyle rubbed his sore wrists where the ropes used to be… Great.. Now he was being forced to eat 'hospital quality' food… In other words… Garbage….

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**I'm SORRY I'm SORRY I'm SORRY!!!! I'm SORRY! BUT THIS LAST MONTH HAS BEEN HELL FOR ME!**

**ALL MY ASSIGNMENTS WERE DUE THE SAME WEEK AND AS SOON AS I THOUGHT I WOULD HAVE SOME FREE TIME I WAS WRONG BECAUSE I HAD TO STUDY FOR END OF YEAR EXAMS!!!!**

**I'm SORRY!**

**Anyway please review and again I am so so so sorry**

**Ps I have added Cartman to the story….**

**I love u !**


	7. Or DIE trying

Disclaimer: My name is Trey Parker/Matt Stone and I own South Park… Ok first of all NOT second of all I'm a fan girl so no… and third of all stop upsetting me by reminding me I don't own South park!

Previously: "Holy shit" Kenny exclaimed "Is… Is that C-Cartman?"

"IT IS CARTMAN!" Stan said "Get in this car right now!" Stan called out to him aware that the red light that Cherie had stopped at could turn green at any moment.

Cartman strolled over casually to the window of Stan's Car "Why hello Stan fancy meeting you here… Why what a curious situation… The two fags go on a road trip and forget to invite their best friend and he out of the blue just so happens to be in the same town as them… How Ironic"

'Just Get in Cartman"

"No"

"What?"

"How do I know you guys aren't psychos dressed up as Stan and Kenny who want to rape and murder me?" Cartman said leaning against Stan's car

"Ok first of all what are you on to make you think anyone would WANT to rape you and second of all get in the damn car before I run your fat foot over!"

Cartman heaved a great sigh and said "Fine!" before getting in. As soon as he closed the door Stan tore up the road in the direction that Cherie's Car was, just as the light turned green.

"Whoa Stan what's the big rush???" Cartman asked and Stan impatiently sighed.

"Kenny please explain everything to this idiot here"

"Well… We went to look for Kyle and his wife answered the door and wouldn't let us see him so we suspected something was up so Stan here went to the window to see what was happening and we overheard her talking to this Cherie chick that she had sold Kyle and now somebody else has him and we're following Cherie because SHE wants to buy Kyle and she will lead us to him and we have a gun in case they need persuading" Kenny said in one big sentence and took a deep breath.

"Your doing all this for a stupid Jew Rat?" Cartman asked and Kenny and Stan just glared at him. "God who would even pay for someone like him"

"Kenny can you please kick him out of the moving car?"

"With pleasure"

"Now wait Kenny, Stan… I want to help you"

Stan laughed harshly as he followed Cherie's car "Yeah right" He snorted

"Since when have you _ever_ wanted to help Kyle?" Kenny asked suspiciously

"Well…" Cartman said slowly "I'm not sure why I'm telling you fags this but… It was me who saved Kyle from the 'smug' in California"

Kenny and Stan's both looked at each other than simultaneously broke out in laughter "Yeah right!" Stan said "Since when have you given a crap about Kyle?"

"AY! Even ask Butters! And not to mention I gave him mah kidneh!"

"Only after we tricked you into giving it to him!" Kenny said exasperated "Look… Even if you did save him from the smug… which I seriously doubt… Why did you?"

"Well… I uh…" Cartman started fidgeting and his eyes starting to twitch from side to side "BUTTERS IS NO FUN! HE DOESN'T EVEN RETALIATE WHEN I CALL HIM A FAG! I MEAN WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH THAT?!?" Cartman exclaimed throwing his arms in the air, making Kenny move a little further away from him.

Kenny came to a sudden realisation and started to laugh "Are you saying you feed off his retaliations?" Kenny asked "You mean to say he's the yin to your Yang? The spots to your lady bug? The white dove to your ark? If you were Romeo he'd be Ju-"

"OK OK! WE GET THE POINT KENNY!" Cartman said flushed and angry and Kenny and Stan laughed again.

It was a long silence that Stan drove and when Cherie finally pulled up at a house Stan parked on the opposite side... His heart beating unusually fast he put in an ear phone to the spy ear and gave the other one to Kenny, turning the sound right up.

It was a little crackly but Stan strained his ears to hear everything that Cherie was saying. His heart seemed to stop when she dinged the door bell.

"Cherie! What a pleasant surprise!"

"Hi Rhiarn! Just thought I'd pop in and say hi!' Cherie said not revealing her true intentions.

'What are they saying Staaaaaan?" Cartman asked frantically and Stan shushed him.

"Oh then come right in and I'll put some coffee on"

"So I've heard that you've got a new husband" It was more of a statement then a question

"Not anymore I don't… Sold him for twenty five G" At this Kenny let out a low whistle, wondering to himself how much people would pay for _him_, then shaking the idea out of his head straight away.

"You… Don't have him anymore?"

"Nope"

"But he's Jewish! You know what they say about them… About how good they are in bed!"

"Yeah" Rhiarn sighed "I was going to you know… Try it out… But… I don't know… Sometimes I think I'm getting to old for this…"

"To old? Rhiarn you've got you're whole life ahead of you!"

"Haven't you ever though… You know… Wanted to have a husband that loved you… That you didn't have to drug to get him into bed?"

"I think I'm going to throw up" Stan muttered.

"That's sick!" Kenny exclaimed looking disgusted

"WHAT?? WHAT DID THEY SAY??? GODDAMIT STAN TELL ME! IF THEY'VE SCREWED UP MY JEW SO HELP ME I'LL-"

"Shut up Cartman!"

"-I would" Cherie finishes

"Goddamit Cartman now I don't know what they said!" Kenny says looking royally pissed

"So who did you sell him to?" Cherie asks bitterly

"I actually don't know them personally but I can show you her web page"

"oh alright"

There's silence for a while.

"Hey she doesn't live to far away from here"

"I know… That's one of the reasons she was the one I sold him to… If you hurry maybe you can buy him for yourself"

"Yeah" Cherie says sounding suddenly excited.

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It was about an hour of non Kyle related gossip before Cherie submerged from Rhiarn's house.

"On the road we go again" Kenny Muttered pulling his seat belt on (A/N safety first peoples ;-) End A/N)

Cartman (who was filled in on what Cherie and Rhiarn was saying about Kyle during their non meaningful gossip) looked shocked, and Stan on the verge of tears…

"What are they doing to him?" He asked, his voice just below a whisper and barely audible.

"Stan… It will be o-"

"NO KENNY ITS NOT GOING TO BE OK! God! We don't even know what their doing to him! We don't even know if right now he's with a mass murder! _If_ we get him out we don't know if he'll even be the same person! We don't-" At this Stan's voice cracked and he broke down into tears.

Kenny wrapped his arms around Stan trying not to cry himself "There's no if's Stan… We _will_ get him back… Even if we have to die trying.

"I'll drive Stan" Cartman said as softly as possible… It had been awhile since he'd showed any emotions since hatred the softness didn't sound right to his voice.

Stan slowly but surely calmed down in the back seat with Kenny comforting him beside him. While Cartman followed Cherie's car the anger was burning up inside him and the fury showed in his eyes… He was surprised that Cherie couldn't feel the daggers he was shooting at the back of her neck.

Even if It took all his strength… He was going to get his Jew rat back… Or he would die trying.

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**I am so sorry I haven't updated. And if it weren't for personal reasons this chapter would have been up a long time ago. But Christmas brings out the best and worst in people…. Especially when they show their true feelings about how much you're really worth to them… How much they don't care about you…. Anyway enough about me… Please thank Butters-St0tch for pushing me to update this TODAY. And I am sorry for breaking your balls man… Truly sorry about late update.**


	8. Helga Riviera

**Hey Guys I know u guys just want to get on with the story but…**

**The last scene in the last chapter when Stan is crying in the backseat with Kenny? Yeah well I thought I'd give you guys some visual aids so I drew it**

**H t t p : / / Misslillypotter . deviant art . com / art / Story - Excert- 107941206**

**Just take out the spaces and your good to go ; )**

**Disclaimer: Dear Lord Jesus… Please protect Mummy and Charlie and Ruby and Timmy and me… And please give me rights to South Park so I can stop writing Corny disclaimers… Amen**

It's amazing What you can hear when there is no noise. Of course, TECHNIQUALLY that doesn't make sense. But try it. Turn off Your music. Get out of the house and go somewhere… Somewhere there's no traffic or cars or noise whatsoever. That's when you hear it.

The click as your brain tries to work things out. Your legs screaming for you to use them. To run. But Most importantly your heart beat. Every beat seems to become slower and slower and you start to wonder how many beats are left before it finally gives up. Before, exhausted as it is, it takes its final pump.

And then what?

Will the last heart beat be dull and as though exhausted be the same as every other beat? Will it go out with a bang? Will it slowly fade out in one long drawn out beat? I guess the only way to find that out is to have the final beat happen. But then again that's why nobody knows what happens to you. You'd be dead before you can tell the story.

But, sitting here, in somebody else's basement, tied up, I guess you could say I've never been more… At peace… Not happy of course. How could anybody be happy in a situation like this? But I feel at harmony with everything around me. I appreciate what I have-

What I had…

I guess its true… You don't know how lucky you are and how many great things you have until their ripped away from you in a split second.

And then?

Well… That's the thing… It's the catch 22… Then its to late…

I'm not talking about materialistic things either… No I think I could live without my phone and laptop and all that other bullshit that was a part of every day life. It's the things that REALLY matter in life.

When I first accepted my fate I tried to look on the bright side… That I would never have to deal with Cartman's bullshit ever again…

But now…

Now I would give ANYTHING to hear him insult me again. I had become accustomed to hear his voice (the one that sounded like he was in the middle of puberty) everyday, insult my religion, my small stature, or anything…

I'm stiff and sore from staying on this cold floor. I haven't had a shower in days and right now I am longing for one.

Suddenly a door opens. _Here we go again_. I think _More food that makes me want to gag…_

Then I remind myself… _The Gag! She forgot to put it back on me last time she came in here…_

"Would anyone hear me if screamed?" I mumble not looking at her… I don't even know why I'm asking this. I know the answer is no…

She laughed harshly again and I had to stop a shiver from slithering down my spine "Only the dogs" She said and I looked up to find her grinning down at me. I suddenly feel sick… She doesn't have food in her hands… That must mean she came in here for another reason… Oh God I don't even want to think about that.

"I just got a call" She says sounding proud. Why is she telling me this? Why not put me out of my pain and knock me out… I'm sure that would hurt a lot less than everything else does.

"And?" I ask but regret it straight away. I'm not really in any position to have an attitude at the moment but thankfully she acts as if she didn't hear me.

"Well lets put it this way…. Your selling a hellova lot faster than anybody else I've bought" And she looks at me as if to say '_I don't see why'. _

I don't say anything in fear that I'll say something that would get me deeper into trouble… Not like that could happen anyway. So she goes on.

"It must be because you're Jewish"

"I- How do you know that?" this is getting more and more freaky by the second.

"The last chick that had you… Riana or whatever her name was… She mentioned it on the website" She says as casually as if she's talking about the weather.

I don't see how the fact that I'm Jewish could affect how quickly I'm bought. It must show on my face as well because she sighs and says

"You don't get out much do ya kid? These days everyone's sayin' that Jews are the best ones to have in bed with ya… If ya get my drift"

I can literally feel the colour draining from my face…. That's why this persons buying me?!?!?! Because… She thinks I'd be good in bed? That makes me feel sick! So that means she wants to…

I look up to ask a question only to find that my captive has left the room. Leaving me alone with my thoughts again.

So this person… This disgusting, foul excuse of a human being is buying me for the sole reason that she believes I would be good at having sex… person… Wait a second…

_She didn't say if it was a male or a female!_

Its been awhile. Years actually. But for the first time since I was a child… I cry myself to sleep.

_Bang!_

I awake with a start to a loud noise I don't quite know.

My noise is blocked and my eyes are swollen. I hear voices being raised yet slightly muffled through the door.

"I don't care! You said thirty K on the phone now hand it over!"

I hear muttering from a deep voice but I cant make out what its saying.

"Yeah… Miscounted… thought that hundred was a one…"

More indistinguishable muttering.

"Ok he's all yours… But you should wait 'til cover of darkness to take him… and you should maybe knock him out so he doesn't scream for help"

"No" says the deep voice "I… Don't want to give him brain damage" I _know_ that voice.

"Pfft… He wont get brain damage if you use _this _stuff" I hear a gasp and she must have shown him something shocking… Something she was going to knock me out with… Fantastic.

"Wh-where did you get that?" I know that voice. Why on earth can't I remember who it belongs to?

"Black market" she sniffs casually.

"I- I'd rather just… take him now?"

"fine suit yourself… Just don't let the neighbours see anything"

The door slowly opens and I blink my eyes a few times at the sudden light coming through. There's a dark figure standing there whose face I cant make out. While he's getting closer I can slowly make out the body figure which definitely belongs to a man.

His face is getting more and more detailed until I can finally make out that its-

I let out a gasp.

_Its Stan that bought me_!

I try to speak but no sound comes out. He comes closer and there's obvious fear in his eyes as they quickly scan me to see if there's any form of hurt.

Soon he's right up to me and bends over so that his mouth is right next to my ear and he whispers "pretend you have no idea who I am… I'm getting you out of here"

I can't even comprehend what was happening. I was filled with over flowing emotions. I wanted to apologise, but I also wanted to know how he found me.

I also wanted to know why my captive had a gun in her hands.

It all seems to happen in slow motion.

"Stan look out!" I yell.

He turns around and the split second his eyes bulge in sudden realisation a shot is fired loud and deafening.

I wake up in a cold sweat, desperately gasping for breathe. I don't know what's more disturbing. The fact that the dream wasn't real. Or the fact that I wanted it to be real, so that I could see Stan just one more time.

I try to calm myself down.

It doesn't happen.

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Driving Stan's faded Red 1999 Ford Crown Victoria was a lot like trying to live in a shack after living in a mansion to Cartman.

When (after several failed attempts) Cartman had succeeded in passing his drivers test and getting his licence, his mother (loaded from a nights work as always) was thrilled that "her little baby poopsiekins had grown up" and was so proud of him that she bought him a shiny new Lightning blue sports car.

Stan's car was just no comparison.

But somehow, no matter how embarrassingly poor looking Stan's car was, Cartman managed to follow Cherie's car to an old worn out one story house with a broken window.

It took all of the strength inside him and every ounce of self control he had not to point at the house and say "look Kenny, where at your house!" but somehow he managed.

For the last few hours of the drive, Stan had been sitting in the back seat hugging his knees and not speaking a word with Kenny softly trying to convince him that it would be ok. But even as Kenny continued to coo in Stan's ear he wondered if he even believed his own words.

Stan felt empty. He felt like there was nothing less and even though Kenny's soothing voice was right inside his ear he didn't hear a word he said.

When Cherie hummed happily to her self and knocked on the old worn door she had no idea what was waiting for her. Her excitement of meeting her new husband took over the nervousness and fear at the back of her head.

And when Helga Riviera opened her door to find Cherie standing their, she glared for about 30 seconds on end. Her worst fears being confirmed.

So before Cherie could even introduce her self she pulled her with great force inside and slammed the door.

"What the hell?" Cherie asked angry and surprised

Helga cursed and paced her untidy living room before looking Cherie straight in the eye and saying

"How long have you been being followed?"

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I know cliff hanger

I know I haven't updated and im really really sorry

But here it is

Please forgive me


	9. Kosher Boy

Authors Note: : :

ATTENTION!

PLEASE READ AUTHORS NOTE!

**DEAR READERS, I APOLOGISE FOR THE INSANELY LATE UPDATE AND I OWE YOU ALL AN EXPLANATION…  
**

**Since I last updated I have not had the privilege of internet for we have been in the middle of moving house/ start of school year.**

**We have NOT had any internet at all**** because for the majority of the move, our computer has been in storage.**

**HOWEVER**

**We are fully moved into our new house yet we still have not had internet because the movers screwed up and somehow sent out internet modem to a completely different state!**

**WTF?!?!**

**Anyway I have written this chapter, whilst I have no internet so that as soon as it gets here, before I do anything else (eg check emails) I will submit this chapter STRAIGHT AWAY!**

**And If this chapter is not up by Late January 2009 Then that means that somebody screwed up again…**

**I thank you muchly for your patience and again I apologize but there are things that are out of my control in this world and for once it was not pure laziness.**

**Thank you**

**omg..kenny**

**P.S If anybody sent me reviews to try to get my butt moving on this chapter I am sorry I didn't reply and I'm sorry if you thought I was ignoring you but alas I HAD NO INTERNET D:**

**Previously: (sorry if this is not word for word)**

"How long have you been being followed?"

Cherie's mouth opened wide in astonishment "w-what?" she asked

"You heard! How long have you been being followed?" Helga asked gruffly

"F-followed? I-I don't understand"

At this point, whilst Cherie was being dragged over to the window to have a point made to her, there was a problem occurring In Stan's car.

"MEH KENNEH MEH! YOU GOT TO LISTEN LAST TIME!" Cartman whined trying grasp the spy ear out of Kenny's hand.

"Cartman let go!" Kenny said putting up a fight "You're going to-"

Complete silence engulfed the car as in a sudden moment, the earphones cord snapped into two.

"Oh my God!" Cherie gasped from inside of the house, seeing three figures inside of a car on the other side of the street "t-two of them! Th-they were at Rose's house! They wanted to know where _my_ husband was!"

"Well he's not yours yet honey" Helga said picking at her fingernails

"Oh!" Cherie said pulling a bank card out of her Gucci purse "Do you have a computer? I can transfer some of my funds over to your account…" Cherie said turning her attention back to the window "The third one… I don't recognize him at all…" She said more to herself than any body else.

"Hmm…" Helga muttered glancing absent mindedly at a door to her far left. "Well… While you figure out how you're going to get out of here without being noticed… Hows about I gets prince Charming ready for you?"

At this Cherie immediately brightened "Oh that would be wonderful!" She said her eyes glazing over.

"Theres a computer next to the microwave in the kitchen" Helga snorted "Haven't used it for nothin but the mail order thing"

Whilst Cherie hurried off into the grimy kitchen Helga turned her large body towards the basement door on her left.

Kyle was contemplating what would happen to him in his next captives household when the door suddenly opened. The sudden light that blazed into the room made him cringe.

Suddenly Helga helped him up and untied him.

He didn't say a word to her. What could he say to somebody like that?

She did all the talking.

"Wells she's here and I gotta say that shes got a nice bod…" She continued on describing Cherie's features as she led Kyle out the door.

For the first time in a long time, Kyle was brought out of the basement and led into a bright bathroom.

It surprised him how clean it was. On the floor, Helga dumped a towel and what looked like fresh clothes. It was only then that Kyle realized he was still dressed like he was about to be wed.

"you got twenty minutes" Helga sniffed "Do whatever the hell ya like but anymore and I'll open up the door. A'ight?" She smirked coldly and said "Theres some magazines next to the toilet… If ya know what I mean"

Kyle just looked at her blankly as she left, closing the door behind her. He turned towards the mirror and what he saw made him gasp out loud. The ghost of his reflection looked back at him.

Even with all the disgusting food his captive had shoved at him, he had lost an excessive amount of weight. His skin was pale and pasty looking from lack of vitamin D and his eyes looked sunken.

Slowly he raised his hand and was surprised when the mirror reflected this. He touched his cheek gently and so did his reflection. Except it wasn't his reflection. At least, not him as he knew himself. He tore his eyes away from the ghastly sight and turned towards the shower. While he was here he might as well take advantage of the facilities.

While he was in the shower (A/N no I will NOT add details u pervs : P) he washed his hair just for something to do.

By the time he was out and had toweled himself off, he looked down at the clothes that had been dumped on the floor.

There was a plain white t-shirt and a pair of jeans that looked a size bigger than his own and among them was a toothbrush (and to his embarrassment) a pair of fresh, clean (and he hoped new) underwear. Kyle once again was surprised at the thoughtfulness… Or maybe a better word would be organization that his captive had.

Outside of the bathroom, Cherie had successfully transferred the money she owed over to Helga's online account.

"What's the time now?" She asked anxiously

"Relax hun he's still got 5 minutes in there. We still haven't figured out how you're gonna get him outta here without being noticed.

"Yeah" Cherie sighed but couldn't seem to resist "So what's he like? Has he talked much? Or is he one of those 'tall dark and handsome's?"

Helga laughed gruffly "Screwed if I know! I prefer tacos to sausages if you get my drift"

"Uh… so how _are_ we going to get him out" Cherie asked changing the subject and shifting uncomfortably in her chair.

"Well subdueing him isn't a problem. That parts easy… Ya plannin to sleep with him tonight?" she asked and Cherie nodded enthusiastically "Ok then I suggest a mild sedative… I've got some… They'll keep him awake but quiet him down so he can't struggle."

"Sure that sounds great! But how are we going to get him out without being followed?"

"Hmm… That is a tricky one" Helga said glancing at her watch and getting up to fetch Kyle "And I think I have the perfect way to do it."

"Uh… Wait!" Cherie said jumping up as well "How about you tell me the plan now… Then give him the sedative… But first mix it in water so he doesn't suspect… And then-"

"Yeah sure whatever…" Helga said walking to the kitchen. Above her microwave in the sixties styled kitchen, she opened up a cabinet and grabbed a small jar with an assortment of pills inside.

"How do you know which one it is? I mean, what if you give my baby the wrong one?"

Helga snorted at the pet name "Relax they're colour co-ordinated. Lets see now…" She muttered "Pink is sleeping… Blue for coughs and colds… Black for sex… Ah here it is…" She said puling out a white pill in the shape of a jelly bean "Mild sedative" She beamed.

Outside, as night had started to fall, the three boys sat in silence, until it was broken by the fattest of the three.

"Kenny?" Cartman said, his eyes fixed firmly on his feet.

Kenny looked up surprised, in the time he had known Eric Cartman, he could probably only think of one… No, he couldn't think of any time that he had ever apologized "Y-yeah?" he asked his voice slightly husky from being caught off guard.

Cartman seemed to be struggling to say something, but his vocal cords seemed jammed up "I.. I…" despite the situation, Kenny was slightly enjoying himself seeing Cartman stumble over his words "What Cartman?"

"I-I want you to know Kenny…"

"yeah?" Kenny said waiting

Cartman swallowed and slowly raised his eyes to Kenny, scrunching up his eyebrows in concentration and frustration "I want you to know Kenny… That if we lose their trail I'm blaming you!"

"Hey!" Kenny protested and raised his fist, in a second he had drawn back strength, then releasing it, something came into contact with Kenny's fist… Something that was not Eric Cartman's face.

Stanley Marsh's hand held Kenny's fist tightly yet gently. The glare in his eyes made guilt and sudden realization etch across Kenny's face.

Stan had barely spoken a word and even now he stayed silent, yet his glare spoke for itself.

"You guys" He said slowly, an edge of coldness to his voice "Are acting like children" He never once dropped his gaze, yet Kenny was starting to find it hard to keep his.

"I can't believe" Stan dragged out, he took a deep breath, his voice was shaking a little but the authority in it made Kenny want to curl up and hide under the car "That he…" he paused, unable to mention Kyle's name he sucked in breath and continued "That he is inside there… And you guys are arguing about a children's toy"

And suddenly, he did something that neither Kenny or Cartman suspected him to do.

He started to laugh.

The sound of it was unnerving and made the hairs stand up on the back of Kenny's neck. It was like the laugh of a mad man- and then, all of a sudden… It turned into tears… And Stanley Marsh was no longer laughing. But his hysterical sobs sounded exactly as his laughter did.

And that was the most unnerving thing about it.

Cartman and Kenny looked at each other and simultaneously clambered over into the back seat with Stan.

Slowly, Kenny reached out to put a hand on Stan's shoulder, as soon as it touched, Stan jerked away.

"Stan please-"

"Fuck you Kenny!" He screeched.

Kenny smiled at Stan "Maybe later" he muttered and Stan snorted through his tears but seemed to calm down a little. Kenny wasn't sure if he should have been happy or confused at this reaction.

"Guys… Sorry to interrupt this sentimental moment" Cartman said but there was no trace of a smirk on his face "But some ones coming out of the house"

Stan and Kenny sat up immediately and looked out of the window.

A large woman was emerging from the house. And she was carrying what looked like a body bag.

"Oh God" Kenny said putting a hand up to his mouth trying not to spew up.

In the back seat of Cherie's car, she placed the body bag down and closed the doors.

Then emerging from the house, Cherie came out… She looked around the street nervously and for a second, Stan held his breath as he thought he saw her eyes rest on their car, but she looked back at the large woman before her.

"Wind down the window" Stan hissed to Kenny "We might be able to hear what shes saying.

Kenny did so and they all strained their ears to catch to conversation.

"So… You'll take him over to the house… And I'll follow later?" Cherie asked the woman.

"Yes that's right!" The large woman said loudly. "Just come when you're ready… He'll be with me though"

Cherie muttered something that Stan Cartman and Kenny couldn't hear and then walked back into the house.

"This is it guys" Cartman said and slid into the front drivers seat, Kenny glanced at Stan who just gave a curt nod, for fear of opening his mouth in case his stomach would get the better of him.

Kenny was about to clamber into the front seat but thought better of it, instead, he stayed with Stan, who would never admit it, but was extremely grateful.

As Helga drove off she glanced back at the back seat, of the car and smirked. Everything was going to plan. She had piled her bag of garbage into the back seat of the car and her and Cherie's planned conversation was spoken loud enough for anybody to hear. She looked in the rear view mirror and saw that the car was following her.

Perfect.

Of course, they didn't know it, but they were on a wild goose chase.

She laughed gruffly and turned on her radio, all was going to plan.

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Inside of Helga's house, Cherie nervously grabbed a glass of water and headed towards the bathroom.

She opened the door without knocking and felt her heart leap and bounce out of control.

There he sat, on the lid of the toilet, legs crossed like a little kid in a classroom, obviously waiting for Helga, but surprise crossed his face when Cherie stepped in. _Her Prince Charming_.

"Hello" She gushed, taking a step forward "My name is Cherie… And…" She struggled with the words… She was excited out of her mind and her hormones seemed to be dancing "and I'm your new wife" she finished.

The words sounded better out loud then it did in her head.

She was married to this divine person. To her, he was a God. His fiery red hair was just past his ears and the light danced off it. He was thin, but the stature suited his gentle face. He had piercing green eyes, which were widened at the sight of her and his perfectly shaped lips were slightly parted.

"Y-you?" He asked and his voice sounded as smooth as melted chocolate. She was glad that there was no disappointment in his voice, just surprise.

"Yes…" She took another step forward, she was now close enough to touch him, and longed to. "Are you thirsty?"

He didn't answer. She reached out and slowly grabbed his hand, his skin was softer than any others she had touched. _He was the one_. He seemed surprised but made no effort to pull away. She cupped his beautifully carved hands around the glass.

"Drink" She said softly "You'll feel better about this. I promise"

He kept his eyes on her as he slowly drained the glass. She smiled and noticed that his eyes had started to droop.

"How about we go to the bedroom?" She suggested… But her tone of voice made it obvious there was only one answer to the question.

He made a little noise that sounded like "Nnmm" But chose to ignore it.

"Come on" She said softly and put his arm around her shoulders, feeling his warmth against her skin. "Come on" and then she smiled "Kosher boy…"

She led him to the bedroom that Helga had pointed out before and lay him softly on the bed. He seemed to reach for something.

"Oh!" She giggled "You want this kosher boy?" She asked seductively, making it clearly by her body language she was talking about her self.

He made the funny noise again which made her giggle. Apparently, the drug altered speaking patterns as well… She had to get her hands on some of them… After she was finished with… _Kosher Boy…_

She smiled at the pet name she had given him. She wanted to touch him. And now… She could.

"Kosher boy… I've waited a long time for this" She said climbing onto the bed and leaning over him. And she convinced her self that the fear in his eyes was longing.

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Something was wrong.

"Cartman… Let me drive"

"Stan?"

"CARTMAN PULL THE FUCKING CAR OVER NOW AND LET ME DRIVE!" Stan yelled and Kenny heard the fear in his voice past the anger. Cartman pulled over, looking nervously back at Stan.

"Jesus Christ! What the hells gotten into you?"

Stan pushed him out of the way and climbed quickly into the front seat. He spun the wheel around and accelerated, the tires squeaking as they went.

"STAN! What the hell dude? You're not following Kyle!"

"Don't you think its strange?" Stan shot back his eyes dead on the road "That they talked _just _loud enough for us to hear them? That they didn't even bother hiding the fact they had a fucking body bag?!?!"

"Yeah but Stan- We're going to lose the trail! That was probably just a coincidence-"

"I don't believe in coincidences" Stan hissed back at Kenny "They found out… They fucking knew we were following them somehow and they sent us on a wild goose chase For Gods sake!" Stan cursed again "God we've been so dumb! They knew! They knew we were following them! Kyle's back at the house with that… With that woman!" He spat "Why the hell wouldn't Cherie follow? Why would she suddenly want to wait?"

Stan screeched to a stop, tearing up the drive way of Helga's house.

He grabbed the gun from the glove compartment and ran towards the house.

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I couldn't speak. I couldn't move. I couldn't even stop her from insulting my religion. I had no power, no control over my own body… Over my own voice.

Why did I drink the water she offered me? Why wasn't I more suspicious?

I've been drugged.

Even when I was a kid, cold medicine never went down good with my system, if anything, it made me sicker.

I feel like I'm going to pass out… Or maybe that's just what I'm hoping will happen.

I try to reach the bedside cabinet to pull myself away from the bed. For some reason she thinks I'm trying to reach out to her. I try, I strain to say no but it doesn't work and she starts to laugh.

And then, she climbs onto the bed and she's leaning over me. She says something but I can't make it out.

She leans towards me and I cringe. I don't want her to do anything to me. I brace myself.

_Bang!_

My eyes fly open. That's when I realize that I must have passed out. I must be dreaming. Because there is no way in reality that Stan could be standing in the door way with a murderous look in his eyes.

And… _he has a gun_.

Whatever her name is shrieks. "W-who the hell are you?" She asks and then her eyes widen… "No… Why aren't you… You're meant to be…" She curses.

"Get the fuck off him now!" Stan spits. I've never seen him use a gun before.

She does so but I'm startled to see she's crying. There's fear in Stan's eyes as he looks at me and trys to help me up he curses "You drugged him?"

I try to speak… Even if it is a dream… I have to say this… If I don't say this… I will never forgive myself.

And suddenly, Kenny and Cartman are there to. What the hell are they doing in my dream? They weren't in my last one… This one is better than the last one.

Stan passes Kenny the gun, he and Cartman still look shocked and keep looking from me to my new 'wife'.

Stan helps me up, "I'm getting you out of here Kyle… I-It will be ok" His voice is shaking.

We're nearly at the door, suddenly she shrieks "You can't take him from me! He's my husband!"

Stan glares at her, theres more hatred in his eyes than I've ever seen before "Real Husbands…" He says taking deep breaths "Aren't bought…"

"S-Stan" I manage to slur… I try with all my might… He has my arm around his neck and Kenny has the opposite one around his. "I-I'm Sorry Stan" I slur.

He looks like he's about to cry "Don't…" He says

"Kenneh… If your holding Kyle let me hold the gun"

"I thought you had the gun Cartman."

Suddenly I hear what sound like a stapeler being punctured. That's when I realize it's a gun being cocked.

Stan spins around and I see what has sent the look of dread on his face…

I remember her name now…

Cherie has the gun… Shes about five metres away and its pointed at Stan "Let… Him… Go"

"No" his eyes widen.

And she shoots.

With my last ounce of strength I hug my self tight against Stan and feel something hot against my back.

I hear a scream.

I'm starting to black out again.

I guess I should be used to it by now…

But this time… It's different… My three best friends in the whole world are leaning over me there mouths are moving frantically but I can't hear anything… Its like God put the world on mute…

I black out

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WOOOH! LONGEST CHAPTER YET!

Cliffhanger… I know…


	10. THE END

This is the Last Chapter of _Mail Order Sign Here for One Kyle Broflovski_

Thank you for every body who reviewed.

Thank you for every body who read yet didn't review.

Thank you to every body.

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It was one of the most perfect evenings that the world had ever seen. The sky was clear and the moon was shining brighter than anything.

Though It was a horrible night to be such a perfect evening.

"Get him into the ER room. QUICKLY!"

"Sir if you can hear me, squeeze my hand… Sir? Dr- he's not responding"

"Talk to him again, sometimes it- McRyan quickly, get me the anesthesia. It's a clean wound. Went straight through. He must have lost consciousness because of shock-"

"He was drugged" Stan cut in.

"Please sir, I know you wish to help but I need you to wait in the waiting room. You can't enter- McRyan! Where's that anesthesia?"

"Sir… You are at the hospital… Can you hear me sir? Doctor! I got a response"

"Good keep talking to him… Sir please… The waiting room!"

Stan stopped jogging to keep up with the doctor. Saw the white doors of the sparkly clean hospital swing shut and knew that it may be the last time he ever saw Kyle again. The thought made his stomach shoot up suddenly like he was riding a rollercoaster.

In a way- he was. The series of events that had occurred were making him dizzy just thinking about them and he stumbled slightly on his feet. Slowly, and though it pained him to do so, he turned his back on the white doors that Kyle had just been wheeled into and shuffled slowly into the dreaded waiting room. Where he would be forced to wait for hours on end, without a word on how his dying friend was doing.

The atmosphere in the waiting room was mixed. Everything from wailing children holding bent out of shape arms, to pregnant women flicking through magazine pages, to snoring people, escaping the real world into deep slumbers. Stan wondered how anybody could sleep at this moment.

His bleary, sleep deprived eyes searched the room for Kenny and Cartman, before his brain registered the fact that they weren't there. Kenny was talking to an officer about the series of events, Stan knew his time to make a statement would come soon too but dreaded the moment. Cartman however, was at the information desk, filling out the medical form. The fact that something as normal as filling out a form could still be done shocked Stan so much that his head hurt.

Slowly, he made his way over to the information desk, where Cartman was leaning and scowling at the paper, his eyes focused on a certain spot. Stan looked at the part that was giving Cartman the most difficulty.

_Any family history of illnesses? Please specify_

"Diabetes has run in his family for 5 generations" Stan said, his voice coming out hoarse and rough. Cartman looked up at Stan, his strained eyes barely registering Stan's face, before he jotted down what Stan had said.

Stan silently walked over to the coffee machine, and for a moment, he just stood there, staring at the _expresso _button. What would life be without Kyle? Would there be life?

Stan shook his head as if doing so would shake the bad thoughts out of his head. He didn't have to consider these things because Kyle was going to make it. He was a fighter. He had always been strong willed. If Cartman had payed him out as a child he would shoot a payback back at him as quick as a whip. He survived numerous adventures and he was going to survive this.

"Are you going to buy that coffee or just stare it down?" A tired, but compassionate voice behind him asked. He turned around to see Kenny standing there, despite all that had happened, a sad smile was etched on his face.

"Listen, I just told them what happened and they wanna talk to you"

Stan's eyes shot up at Kenny, he would not be able to talk about what happened, not now, not with Kyle in the other room hanging on to life.

Kenny put a hand on Stan's shoulder "Don't worry. I told them you would need more time… Their talking to Eric…" For a brief moment, Stan had no Idea who Kenny was talking about, a lifetime of habit, calling Cartman by his last name and over 24 hours without sleep were to blame. But it registered soon enough and Stan just nodded.

"He's strong Stan… Don't worry he'll make it"

Stan felt a lump grow in his throat and couldn't bring himself to say anything so he nodded again.

Kenny, did what Stan was unable to do, and put two coins into the coffee machine. Once it had spurted its steaming hot liquid into a cheap paper cup, Kenny picked it up and handed it to Stan, who stared into its dark depths like he was unable to know what to do with it.

"You'll need it… Seeing as we won't be able to sleep."

Stan took a sip and grimaced as the hot, burnt liquid pierced his tongue and made his way over to a chair with Kenny close behind, with another cup of coffee, and five sugar packets in his hands.

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It was about four AM when the doctor emerged from the rooms white doors. Slowly during the night and the early morning, the waiting room had emptied out, and Cartman had returned.

The three boys had sat in silence, and although none of them could sleep, they all seemed to not be entirely awake. Like they were in their own worlds. Kenny was leaned back with his eyes closed, the back of his head resting on his hands, Cartman had taken the majority of the large, plastic covered couch and was staring up at the ceiling. Stan seemed to be the one who was out of it the most. He was curled up into a small ball and rocking slightly, staring off into no particular point in the distance, but when doctor walked out of the doors, pulling his mask down, his head was the first to snap upwards, and he seemed to be way to awake for somebody with such a little amount of sleep.

"His condition is stable" the doctor said shortly.

"So that means that he's…?"

"Yes… He's alive" The doctor said shortly, his gaze stern and a breath of relief was extinguished from all three boys.

"Can we see him?" Kenny asked wearily.

"Yes but I'm afraid there would be no point… He's still unconscious…The shot was clean, it went straight through, luckily it completely missed his spine and heart though unfortunately it hit an artery, resulting in a massive amount of blood loss which would not have been as severe if the shot didn't go through the artery. In this particular case, he lost a lot of blood and until he wakes up, there will be no telling what kind of impact that had on his state of mind"

"So you're saying that… When Kyle does wake up… He might have amnesia?"

"There is a chance that he would yes, but he may also have long term brain damage… But there is also a small possibility that his mind was not affected at all"

A _small_ possibility.

Stan had heard the word and part of him didn't want to know what small percentage that was.

"Now there is one thing that I would like to ask you about…"

"yeah?" Kenny asked

"There are small incisions on his head that were there before the shots were fired… Do you have any idea where they might have came from?"

Kenny and Cartman exchanged confused looks but Stan looked up at the doctor "I think I know… That may have been the way they knocked him about before those bitches realized they could drug him" Stan voice was dark and cold and the tension in the room seemed to rise.

The doctor looked speechless for a second but quickly recovered "I understa-"

"Can we just see Kyle now?" Stan cut in, his voice impatient.

"UH.. Yes… Of course.. Ah right this way" the doctor said being caught off guard a second time.

The room that they had placed Kyle in was in no way unique. It was exactly the same as every other room in the building… Dull, white and smelling of strong toilet cleaner. Kyle looked peaceful and there was no doubt that he would not be waking up anytime soon. Nevertheless Stan approached Kyle's bed cautiously, as if afraid he would wake him.

"What did they do to you?" Stan muttered, his voice barely audible. The doctor spoke and Stan looked up in surprise as if forgetting that their were other people in the room.

"They gave him what's know as Restoril, or, more commonly known as the "Date/rape drug… It's usually used in clubs to help clubbers score." The doctor sniffed as if the thought of drugging somebody to score disgusted him deeply.

Stan just looked at the body of his best friend. He seemed so peaceful.

Kenny asked the doctor a few questions but Stan couldn't bare to listen and tuned out, he just watched his lifeless friend, attached to different tubes and monitors. The doctor's pager went off and he scurried off.

It was when Stan looked at the monitoring screen, that he noticed how dull Kyle's heart rate looked… He broke down. He couldn't contain himself anymore, and like all the stress was coming out, all the tension, all the worries. He fell asleep, head buried in the blanket of Kyle's hospital bed. He cried himself to sleep.

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When Stan woke up, he didn't move. He didn't rub the sleep out of his eyes, or stretch, or yawn like he would on a normal day. He didn't want to open his eyes and look up and see his best friend still unconscious. He wanted to see Kyle smile again, laugh again. He wanted to see him live again.

When he looked up, he had convinced himself that he would be.

He was not surprised though when he saw that Kyle was not awake.

He refrained from letting his emotions get the better of him again, and looked around. In the arm chair across from where he was, Kenny and Cartman were deep asleep. Kenny's head was rested on Cartman's shoulder and he looked so deep in sleep that it was scary.

"Kyle… I'm sorry… I'm sorry we didn't get you out in time… I'm sorry we didn't warn you about her earlier… I'm sorry that we left the gun with that… woman…"

He couldn't help himself. Tears started to flow down his cheeks and he couldn't bring himself to look at Kyle again… He turned away.

"I…Should be… the one… that's sorry" Stan didn't have to turn around to know who the familiar yet hoarse voice behind him belonged to… But he did, and hope started to rise in him.

Kyle's eyes were not open but screwed up, as if in deep pain.

"Kyle… Kyle are you awake?"

Stan asked grabbing for Kyle's hand and squeezing for it.

"I-I'm sorry Stan… I didn't… I didn't listen"

"Shh… Don't speak… You.. You'll be fine" Stan wrapped his arms around Kyle, even though it was an awkward position to hug somebody.

And for the first time in what seemed like forever. Stan smiled. It was a wet smile because he was crying but still nevertheless… It was a smile…

And it was that moment he knew

It didn't matter anymore what happened. His best friend was going to be Ok. And as Kenny and Cartman rubbed the sleep out of there eyes, their mouths dropped open and they were speechless from shock… Stan laughed… Out of pure happiness from it all…

**THREE MONTHS LATER**

Stan picked up the four bottles and made his way over to his table.

"Scooch over" He said, and Kenny scraped his chair over to make room.

"Did you get my smoothie with full cream faggot?" Cartman asked, unfortunately Cartman was back to his normal self.

Stan just rolled his eyes "Yes Cartman" He sighed and took his seat next to his best friend.

"How's your back doing?" He asked Kyle who cringed slightly but smiled after a second.

"Its fine… I've stopped taking the painkillers for it though… They make me so out of it…"

"Like you've just cheesed off?" Kenny asked with a sideways smirk on his face and Kyle frowned.

"Uh sir?"

The four of them looked up.

There stood a dazzling beauty. Her blonde hair shining in the mid day sun. Her blue eyes glistened and her top was revealing an excessive amount of cleavage.

"You forgot your receipt" She smiled, her white teeth were flawless.

"I'll take that" Kyle said quickly and snatched it out of her hands. She took a step back out of shock but recovered almost instantly. Smiling at Stan she mouthed 'turn it over' and walked off.

Kyle raised an eyebrow and flipped over the receipt, then scowled at the paper.

"What does it say?" Stan asked

"It has her name and number on it"

"Oh" Stan blushed. Cartman looked at him in jealousy and disgust and slurped at her smoothie.

_Rip._

Kenny Cartman and Stan turned their heads to see Kyle ripping the paper into little pieces

"Dude- what the hell???" Kenny asked "She had a tight ass!"

Kyle just smiled at them.

"Well… I don't know about you guys… But I'm not going to let my friends date a girl without a history and police record check for a while…"

At this they started to laugh.

"Amen to that" Stan muttered.

**THE END**

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**Please review ^^**

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	11. Goodbye

Attention all readers of my stories, or faithful fans of pairings.

Do Not bother reading if you do not care :)

This is an authors note to say that I will not be continuing any of my stories. I have come to an age where I am either to busy to write updates or that I have lost any feeling of need to do so. I do not get the same ZING from fan fiction that I used to.

Thank you to everybody that has reviewed, favorite or even just read my stories. You guys gave me the confidence to write what I felt like and not feel like an idiot in doing so.

A few people I would like to thank personally.

**JVM**-**sp150- ****It was your stories that truly made me fall in love with fan fiction, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of your hilarious plots, creative story lines and fast updates. You were a true inspiration for me and I hope you never stop writing. Thank you and good bye.**

**Cartooncutie16****- Our role plays together were always fun and gave me the boost I needed to get through the day, you were a valuable friend and a devoted fan forever. : )**

**Styleislove****- Oh gosh Kenni where to start? You are like a big sister to me and I love you from the bottom of my heart 3 Your stories were always awesome, emotional and enjoyable and I don 't care what anybody says but you have to be a writer!**

**Ayafangirl****- You gave me a lot of support and your stories are freaking awesome and full of surprises! You are a talented writer, keep up the awesome work.**

**And to everybody else who read my stories and reviewed or favorite I thank you, but this is goodbye.**

**Love you lots 3**

**Love**

**Omg..kenny, making her last ever post on FF.**

**PS. I have put the same thing on all my stories and they have probs flooded anybodys inbox who has me on alert so if you have read this delete all the other chapter updates cause it's the same message. **

**Goodbye, So long, Forever. **


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